


My Life by Ronon

by Vexed_Wench



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Community: fanbingo, Diary/Journal, Drugged Teyla, F/M, Falling In Love, Human/Wraith Sex, Implied Mpreg, Kidnapping, M/M, Missions, Oblivious Rodney, Slow Build, Vacation, WIP Big Bang 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 08:15:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 14,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7794187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexed_Wench/pseuds/Vexed_Wench
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to Ronon's journal.</p><p>This was written for the 2016 WIP Big Bang as well as a black out fic for Fanbingo. Each chapter is based off of a bingo square.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Epistolary Fic: emails, letters, etc. | Exile

Dear Melena,

I know some people would think it was silly to write to you. You've always been there for me. Why would that change now? I know you're not physically here. A part of you will always be with me. Is it that different from all the times I used to lie awake and tell you about my day? I may be lonely but I'm not crazy.

 

Do you remember how my Ona always said that we should always be on our best behavior or the 'Ancestor's would take us away to their great city and teach us how to behave'.

I think that is what happened to me. Not literally, of course, I'm not one of those crazy people that used to swear the Ancestor's were coming back to save us from the Wraith.

They were all proven wrong after the attack, weren't they? I'm still not sure how they were going to scoop up all the worthy Satedan's and save them for the Wraith. I wonder what those people thought during their last moments when the attack finally came.

I'm not sure if they intervened on my behalf or just sat back and laughed. Either way, my life got a shakeup that I'm still trying to fix.

After the Wraith took me hostage, they made me a runner. I thought the tales of the runners were a story handed down from parent to child. Who would've thought that they could do something worse than kill you?

Those first few days I ran from them were the hardest ones I'd ever lived through in my life. Every time I felt like giving up I reminded myself that I had to stay alive. I had to live long enough to kill the bastards. They may have captured me and planted a fucking tracker under my skin, but I will still win. Dying on an unknown planet was not how I was going to die.

One of those random unnamed planets is what brought me here. I had heard about a planet that could kill someone within hours of setting foot on it. I wasn't sure if it would work on the Wraith but I needed to try. It sounded like one of the easier plans.

I spent three weeks trying to figure out how to get them to follow me to Dioscurrven. Rumor was that if you traveled by foot you were a dead man. That made it harder to come up with a plan. It wasn't as if I could make camp there, then send up, come and get me smoke signals.

I know many planets have space gates and that isn't special. The one on Dioscurrven is directly over an active volcano. It is great if someone could get the Wraith to walk through. I can't think of anything that deserves a painful death more than they do. It worked I managed to look like I fell through the ring. The group that was chasing me followed me and plunged to their death.

That was why I ran to the cursed planet. I thought it would be worth it to have the skin melted off my body. I knew I would be taking a bunch of them with me I was doing good picking them off one by one. After Dioscurrven, I wanted to try to kill a group again.

While I was there, I met some interesting people. One was a guy named, Ford.

I found out later that he has a medical condition that came from a failed feeding. It seems that he was knocked into freezing water with the damned thing still attached. I can't even think about how horrible that must've been.

Can you imagine waking up after falling into the freezing sea and see one them still attached to you?

That wasn't even the worst part. It turns out the poor guy is now addicted to the stuff the Wraith drug you with while they feed. These people have been studying how they feed since they got here.

That's why Ford was there when I was. He'd been fighting the Wraith and killing them for the drug ever since he left his base. I still can't picture eating anything that came from those bastards. Ford swore that it gave you superhuman speed and strength. I still think it sounds repulsive. I've been doing okay without trying to havesuperhuman attributes.

It turns out the people from his unit have been trying to track him down. He was in the infirmary when he slipped away from them. It makes me wonder what kind of base they're running. Could you imagine if anyone had tried that back home? The entire base would've suffered the shame and humiliation of allowing someone that was a security risk to just leave. Not to mention all the people that would've dropped at least one rank. I know more than a couple of commanders would have lost their commission and retirement package. The public shaming would've been on all of our records for generations.

I met Sheppard and Teyla while they were searching for Ford. No, that's a lie. I took them hostage so I would be able to get through the ring. I wasn't sure how many people had come with them. I didn't want to kill anyone who wasn't a Wraith. Even the Wraith worshipers I still try to see as people.

Sheppard offered to have someone come to the cave we were hiding in and cut the damn tracker out of me. How could I say no to that? I'd tried everything I could to get rid of the damned thing. I was surprised to see the guy they sent. I wouldn't have pegged him as someone they allowed off world.

He reminded me of your Uncle Zeva. He was determined to fix my back. He was pretty pissed when he heard that I had two different docs try to get it out. I think he would've punched them if they were there. I get the feeling that he isn't prone to violence, so that’s saying something. I refused to let him give me anything that would make me sleep. How could I with a Wraith on that planet? Wraith that I brought there.

Sheppard wasn't in the clearing and I'm not sure how well Teyla would be in hand-to-hand combat with the Wraith. That's why I had to stay awake. I owed them a debt for just looking at my back. I wasn't sure they could get the damned thing out. I gave up hoping for that to happen after the second doc tried. It hurt like hell. Running was hard enough when I was in shape but while I was recovering, it was brutal.

In the end Carson, that's Sheppard's doc, did remove it. For the first time in seven years, I am free of the bastards!

I'm afraid I owe them more then I will ever be able to repay.

I promised Sheppard that I would bring Ford home. At the time, I really thought I could. The crazy son of a bitch jumped into a culling beam. I'm not sure where the hive ship is in that area.

What am I going to do?

I gave my word; I can't break it so soon after our first meeting.

I do have one option; at least I think I do.

There is one last man on Sheppard's team. Rodney McKay he is unlike any person I've ever met.

I met him while he was hanging upside down from a tree. I think Ford set traps for the Wraith. What else could anyone be hunting? I know there wasn't any game worth catching.

I always check when I first arrive on any planet. You have a few hungry days and you learn to check to see what's edible quickly. I will always take small game over plants. 

That means that someone must've been hunting and trapping Wraith. I know the trap wasn't one of mine, so I can only assume it was Ford’s. Whatever the kid is harvesting from the Wraith really has him fucked up.

I think I've written enough for one night. I am surprised I still remember how to write.

All my love,  
Ronon


	2. Imprisonment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon and Elizabeth don't see eye to eye.

Dear Melena,

Today has been full of surprises. I have choices now that I haven't in had in a long damn time.

As I write this, I am in either my prison cell or my new room. I would imagine their prison cells would be in a different part of the base. It seems like it would be nice to be stationed somewhere that you can have an actual room to yourself. It sure beats the hell out of the travel tents we used to use when we marched. Honestly, do you know how high up I would've had to move up the chain to get this kind of treatment?

I'm still not sure about moving here. I know Sheppard wants me here. Between you and me, it scares me a bit. He looks at me as if I have the answers to all of his problems. I'm not kidding. He looks at me like I am giant roast greedle and he hasn't eaten in a week. At first, I thought he just wanted to fuck me.

You should've seen the look on his face. He started to stammer an apology and explanation about how he would never expect me to have sex with him in exchange for anything that was being offered. He explained that while I was a good-looking guy, what he wanted was for me to help him get the base into shape. I guess he really does want me for my brains.

All joking aside how do I teach them what took me seven years to learn? Things I only learned out of desperation. They have so many luxuries I didn't have.

I don't know enough about these people. I need to know more about who they are.

Could they be my people? I don't know if I'm ready for this. I have barely spoken with anyone while I was a runner. It was too dangerous for them.

I am still ashamed to admit that I stayed one night with a small group once. It was nice talking with people. I didn't know anyone they were gossiping about but it was the most fun I'd had in a long time. I went back when I was leaving the planet and they were all gone. The entire village had been culled. Their deaths are on me. The Wraith were the ones to kill them but I might as well have served them up on a fucking platter.

After re reading these past two letters I realized that, I neglected to tell you about Doctor Elizabeth Weir. I'm still not sure why they chose her to lead this mission. They call it an expedition. She doesn't seem to have much military experience. Why would anyone put a civilian in charge of a base in the middle of a war? I thought she was the liaison between the three department heads, Sheppard, Beckett, and McKay.

She made it clear that she wasn't convinced I should be staying with them she also wasn't sure if she could trust me not to bring a full scale attack back on her people. That was the craziest thing I'd heard in awhile. It is the city of the Ancestors for fucks sake. I can't make the city work. Maybe if I stormed the place and kept Rodney and his people as my new crew. They fix everything that breaks. I wouldn't have the first clue how to do that.

I'm good with things that weren't made by the Ancestors. The Ancestors tended use some oddly pretty crystals in everything. What do I know about gems? I know I could tell you if yours looked good. Let's be honest, if you liked it, it was worth keeping. If you had any form of a frown, then it was crap.

I am rambling aren't I?

My dilemma is that I am sure John forced Weir's hand to allow me to stay.

She doesn't want me here and yet she is scared of letting me leave. That leaves me in a very fucked up place.

I don't think they have the supplies to keep someone locked up for long. That makes me wonder, if I am left in a cell will they leave me there to rot. Would they try to kill me? I wish I knew more about these people. I don't think I can afford to make myself an enemy. Does that mean I can trust them?

They have rooms they call Wraith cells in a remote part of the base. They are escape proof for the damned Wraith. It makes me wonder, if they can't get out could I?

I don't want to die in a prison cell. I'm tired of running. I'm so fucked right now.

 

It is a good thing I wrote this in Satedan. I would hate to think what anyone would think of if they could read this.

Love,  
Ronon


	3. Mutation/ physical transformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team visits Rarrier.

Dear Melena,

Today was an important day. I attended my first senior staff meeting. I'm still not sure how I managed to be included. How could anyone classify me as senior staff? I've barely been here long enough to be staff.

The senior staff meeting was Weir, McKay, Sheppard, and Teyla all sitting around a table drinking coffee and discussing the upcoming mission? It was the weirdest damn thing I ever saw.

When my squad was about to go out we just got our orders and left. No one questioned our mission. You got your orders and you followed them.

I can't imagine anyone having a snack as the commander asked us what we thought about the mission. I know no one that gave him their opinions would be dumb enough to do it twice. Unless they wanted to end their careers early.

We were all sitting there eating fried dough and making a list of planets that we could go visit. Melena, how have they been alive this long?

So our mission statement is that we go visit new planets and hope they will trade. Have you ever heard of anything crazier?

I asked them why Rarrier wasn't on the list. They'd never heard of it. I found it on the map and they looked surprised. I guess they didn't think I could read a map. If that were the case how would I have gotten anywhere? I am beginning to think that they doubt my intelligence.

After Teyla thought about, she thought she remembered hearing about it when she was younger. She couldn't remember why her people had been forbidden from going there.

She offered to bring Halling back so they could talk with him about it. I haven't met him. I haven't left the base since I got here. That reminds me they call it a city. The more I learn about these people the weirder they seem.

I was telling you about my trip to Rarrier.

We found out why everyone quit visiting them. The Ancestors did something to their ring. In all my years of traveling between the military and as a runner I have never seen anything like it. We just cleared the gate and I felt something hit me. It was the worst feeling. It felt like my heart was going to explode and I couldn't breathe. The next thing I knew the ground was rushing up towards me.

I tried to see where McKay had fallen. I knew Sheppard could handle himself. I learned Teyla is a master with her bantos rods. I figured she could handle herself.

It made me wonder once more, why McKay was on the team. He's a civilian. I tried my best to drop as close to him as I could manage. I don't know what good I was going to be out cold, but I had to try.

It was bizarre when we came to. I'm not sure how it happened but we all looked like we did in our teens.

Teyla was just as beautiful. You could see the woman she would become in the girl she was. I bet she kicked a lot of ass when she was younger.

You know what I looked like back then. My clothes were a bit baggy and my hair was a little shorter. You know how I filled everything out not long after that.

Sheppard, you should've seen him he was all knees, elbows and cowlicks. The poor guy was uncoordinated as a newborn dreflira. It was only funny because I know he grows out of it. He is downright stealthy as an adult. As a teen, he was not graceful. It was so hard to keep a straight face when he started barking orders. I don't think his balls had dropped yet. Between the cracking voice and the youthful awkwardness, he didn't seem like someone that should be leading anyone in battle.

That just leaves McKay he was the most shocking. He was beautiful. Physically he was prettier than anyone should be. It was hard to take my eyes off him. Once I realized that the entire village was looking at him as if he was the tastiest treat they'd seen in a long damn time, there was no way I was going to let anyone close enough to him to do any damage.

Sheppard and Teyla were off somewhere and too busy making nice with the local leader to watch him. Again, I ask you why they would bring a civilian off world to unknown planets.

Doc Beckett made another house call. He complained less about this one. Weir made him use a jumper. That would be a small ship. The name is some kind of inside joke between Sheppard and McKay. I still don't understand why it's funny.

You would've thought we gave the man the best gift when he saw us. He couldn't wait to see if we were going to stay in our teenage bodies or if we would revert.

It turns out we were never in our teen bodies. We just appeared to be. It was only temporary. It lasted a day and then we dropped again and woke up in our regular bodies.

It did explain why they never traveled through the ring. Beckett was thrilled to stay behind and test everything that they sent back and forth. The locals were excited by the thought of being able to trade again.

It's sad when you think about it. They had banned all forms of travel for as long as anyone could remember. It's nice that they are self-sufficient. On the other hand, think about all the stuff that we would've missed if we never traded with anyone.

The worst part is we are all grounded. I can't even go hunting with Teyla's people. I was looking forward to meeting Halling.

Sheppard said I could spar with the marines. I'm not sure who he's testing. I guess it doesn't matter. I need to find something to do with my time.

Love,

Ronon


	4. A/U freestyle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon takes his team on a hunting trip.

Dear Melena,

I know it's been a couple of days since I last wrote. I took a big chance the other morning. We were at the regular morning staff meeting. I still think it's a weird set up. Who does something like that?

The other night I had this realization. This is my home. I'm not just staying here until I find somewhere better. Sateda is really gone. There is no going back. If I can help them, I should. I don't know if it will make Weir trust me but it can't hurt to try.

Their biggest problem is the rations are running low. I guess I should say our rations are low. Between you and me, I've been in worse situations. It is different with so many civilians. If you take them with you, you have to be responsible for them. Soldiers understand that sometimes support is late or on those awful missions, it just never finds you.

The other morning I told them about Bawgeg. I know that everyone swears the planet is haunted. That stepping foot on it will lead you to a horrible death.

The more I thought about it reminded me about the stories of Rarrier. If these people can get around that then maybe, they could fix what was wrong with Bawgeg.

McKay swore that he could most likely fix whatever the backward people had done to fuck their planet up. He thinks everyone's backwards and beneath him. To be fair he is usually right.

Weir corrected his attitude and Sheppard slapped him in the head. I just don't understand them. Everyone here agrees that McKay is an asshole, but he is able to keep them all alive.

Is it wrong that I think that his skills should be respected? I like that he knows his own worth. If more people did, it would be easier to deal with them.

I was telling you about our trip to Bawgeg and not how these people mistreat McKay. 

Sheppard convinced Weir that it was worth the risk. She couldn’t argue with him. He pointed out that if the planet had even a quarter of what I thought it did, the increase in supplies would be worth it. She caved when he pointed out that if no one had been there we could safely take what we needed.

Mel, you should've seen it! We stepped foot on the planet and we saw herds of greedles just roaming around.

They freaked out when they saw them. Our worlds are so different. I looked at the greedles and saw food; they looked at them and were afraid.

I told them they tasted like beef. I think they taste a lot better than beef. That could be because I grew up eating it.

I hate to have to wait until we get back to base to cook one. I'm sure Teyla and maybe Sheppard could help me skin one here. We'll have roasted greedle soon enough.

I wish my mom could cook a greedle roast as well as yours could. Not many people can cook like your mom. You could, it's too bad you hated to do it.

I never really minded doing the cooking when I was home. I never had you skills, but we never starved. At least I am a better cook than my mom. I've never had anyone break a tooth on a dish I made. I'm sure you remember that afternoon. I bet Giamin remembers that better than either of us. I tried to warn him but he refused to listen to me.

There was more than just greedles running around the open plains. We caught a few hoppers and roasted them over an open flame. They were so damn tasty. I don’t know how many of them I've snared over the years. I still love them. These were good, I showed them the spicy pink flowers we stuffed them with the last time we were there. I can't believe these people haven't been on more hunting trips.

Teyla and I, we were able to forage for everything we needed for a delicious meal.

I found a bunch of razzindee bushes. They grow ugly berries. They are wrinkly with bright blue skin and purple seeds. The freakiest thing is the juice is black. I'm still not sure how bright blue and purple make something turn black. I thought they were vile. They only reason they tried them was because Teyla said they were rare and highly sought after on some planets. It would be nice to have a high value trade item that we could harvest as needed.

They just tasted wrong. I have had them before. I was on this little moon when I first tried them. They left out the offerings to some God or another and I helped myself to a small sampling of it. It's not as if the Gods were going to come down from the sky and grab a snack. I'd been running for four days straight. That might be a little bit of an exaggeration. I did find time to nap when I could.

I'm not sure, if Teyla liked them or if she was just being polite. If I had to guess, I would bet she was just being nice and didn't want to hurt my feelings. I think that is silly. I only picked them; it's not as if I grew them.

I think Sheppard liked them. He said they were good, but you can't eat many of them at one time.

McKay loved them enough for all of us. He must've eaten a medium sized basket of them. It was very disconcerting to watch him eat them. Well, the faces he made were ones that said he loved them. The noises he made were even better. I'm not kidding he sounded like he was having sex. They were very  happy noises.

You should've seen his face when I told him that no one comes here. There was no reason that we couldn't come back and gather as many baskets as we could carry back to the base.

He had the biggest grin I've ever seen, He was going on about razzindee pancakes and muffins.

Sheppard wasn't impressed by the idea. He said maybe in a muffin. They reminded him to much of something called Kafay Moka to be used in baked goods.

I'm not sure what a Kafay Moka is, but if it tastes like the razzindee berries, I don't think I want to.

That made McKay go on a tangent about razzindee brownies. He looked so happy just by the thought of them; it made me wonder what he would do with a brownie and what sounds he would make.

We had a successful hunt. We managed to bring back three full sized greedles, and a few baskets of different things that grew there. Sheppard told the cooks that we would go back as often as they needed us to. When he told them about the other small game and plants, they cheered. I'm not kidding they actually cheered. Melena, you should've seen the mess staff. They were so excited they threw us a hero's banquet the next night.

They were upset that they couldn't pull it off that first night. You and I both know how hard it is to butcher a full sized greedle for the first time. I stayed behind long enough to show them where the best cuts were and how to get to them. They kept thanking me for finding them the reliable food source. 

It felt good to be able to help. It's been a long time since anyone needed me for anything. Killing the Wraith is great. You know I hate them and I hate them even more now. It was nice to do something that actually helped other people and their lives.

Teyla said her people would be happy to help hunt as well. We would have more than enough fresh meat to share. She confided in me that Sheppard's people picked New Athos and all of the game is small. It takes a lot of work to have enough food stored for the cooler seasons. I told her that as long as Sheppard said I could leave the base I would hunt with them. I guess I should get Weir to sign off on leaving the base. She is charge of the mission. I don’t think she likes me anymore then she did when I first got here.

I wonder if she trusts Teyla's people. If she doesn't, is there any chance for me? 

It makes me wonder why they picked that planet. Were there any other planets that they could've settled on? Can they still pack up and move? How do you move an entire base?

I hate to think Sheppard's people wanted Teyla's to feel indebted to them. That would be very wrong. I would hate to think these people would do that on purpose. I'll have to see what else I can find out about both sets of people.

I still wish I could get a better reading on the people that live on base. Honestly, McKay is the only one I don't question. You know how he feels at all times. All you have to do is look at him and you know what he's thinking.

I wonder if he plays cards. I promise that if I can get him to play with me, I won't intentionally bleed him dry, but I make no promises.

I guess it comes down to the fact that I'm conflicted. I want to like these people. I want to trust them, but now I'm not sure.

I have a lot to think about. I miss you. I wish I could talk with you. You, I know I can trust.

Love,  
Ronon


	5. what do you mean: We're related?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon learns one of Teyla's secrets.

Dear Melena,

Today I learned something and I'm not sure what to think. I had a very strong gut reaction to the news. Then I realized my gut was being an asshole. You would be proud of me, I didn't punch anything. I think that is step towards maturity.

I wish you were here. I need to talk with someone that will keep an open mind.

This morning I was in the mess trying to figure out what I was going to do with my day. I really hate when we don't have a mission. Sheppard jokes that he could loan me out to some of the other teams. McKay argued that it set a bad president. That the next thing you know all the teams would think he was going to be available for loan. Sheppard told him he had nothing to worry about, that the other teams wouldn't keep him. I think the smack to the back of McKay's head was a bit much.

If Sheppard wants in McKay's pants, I think he is going about it in a stupid way. He would have better luck courting McKay if he quit acting like an asshole. A guy like McKay likes to know he is not only the smartest man in the room, but that he's the most valued person as well.

Courting McKay was not the topic I had in mind when I started this. Could you honestly see me courting him?

Back to this morning. I was sit outside watching the sea while I ate my breakfast.

Some days I miss being outside. Doctor Hightmeyer says it's normal. That anyone in my position would feel the walls closing in on him. She joked that she was sure she would find me with a tent or at the very least a hammock out on one of the seldom-used piers after my first few days here.

Some days it is tempting to think about doing it.

This morning I was eating some kind of overly sweet pastry. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but their food is just not what I'm used to. I'm not complaining, just wanted to point out that I'm still not used to it. I'm sure I will get used to it. After all the meals I've missed over the years, I am grateful to have a steady diet of anything. Even if some of it is a little sweet or covered in weird sauces and spices for my taste.

Teyla found me just watching the waves.

We sat there enjoying the calm and quiet for a bit.

She wanted to explain about her 'gift'. I thought it was odd that every time we go off world Sheppard asks her if there is any Wraith around. I finally asked her about it.

It turns out that she has Wraith DNA in her. I swear I could feel my skin crawl when she told me. I tried to remind myself that she was the same sweet woman I'd been hanging out with. It's just creepy thinking that someone in her family line had Wraith DNA in them. 

There is an upside to it. If there is any Wraith in the area, she can sense them. That could come in handy.

I have to see past this new information and remember how much I liked her before I found that out.

I need to think. I'll write again soon,

Ronon


	6. Chemicals Freestyle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon misses Melena a little more today.

Melena,

Guess what today is? 

Radek, he works with McKay. He says with McKay says Radek works under him. I'm not sure it matters. It's always funny to see them bicker.

Radek makes homemade moonshine that will knock you on your ass. Tastes like liquid fire but man the burn is worth it.

I am just glad he traded me some junk I no longer need for a bottle.

I'm sure I could've gotten a better deal if I really tried. I didn't want to haggle with him. I just wanted a drink.

I want so many things lately. I want a life where people trust me. I want a life where I'm fucking needed. More importantly, I want a life where I'm appreciated. I just want to be happy. Is that too much to ask for?

Fuck, I'm drunk. 

Happy anniversary to us.

Love,  
Ronon


	7. Movie Remix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth isn't always welcomed.

Dear Melena,

Today was the best day I've had since I got here. That is after I drank a ton of water and coffee and ate a huge breakfast.

I'm thankful that I always bounce back after a night of drinking.

It wasn't long after that when the people of Mizko called in and requested we be there before the noon meal. They have some fucked up friendship ceremony that can only be done when everything in the world is in perfect order. If we didn't go, today we would have to wait another year to perform the damned thing.

I wasn't there for their first meet and greet. From what I understand, Teyla did most of the talking when they were there, so they assumed she was the leader. That happens more often than you would think.

I have to explain something to you first. That way you'll understand why it was so damn funny. If not you'll just be mad that I was laughing at Teyla and I probably should've been angry on her behalf and maybe horrified.

Let me tell you that the people of Mizko really had good intentions. If they had done this purposely to hurt Teyla, Sheppard no doubt would've leveled their planet to rubble. On the other hand, he would've shot a few key people and locked them out of our gate.

He is loyal and takes his bond with all of his people very serious. I do believe he considers the entire base to be 'his people', but his team is closer. For Sheppard team equals family.

The team has this crazy bonding ritual and they invited me to join them right after I decided to stay.

We have movie night at least once a week. We all get to pick, which I find funny. Teyla and I really have a hard time. I have a worse time than her. She's been with them longer.

Last night was Teyla's pick and she has a thing for a guy from their world. Jim Carrey, she finds him entertaining. He's a goofball. Sheppard says he makes damn good money being a goofball. I wonder more and more about their home world.

I don't think the movies are helping to give me a clear picture of what it's like to live on Earth.

I was telling you about the movie we watched, it's called 'Liar Liar'. The basic plot is the guy wouldn't know the truth if it bit him on his ass.

He has an ex wife and a kid. The kid makes a birthday wish that his dad couldn't lie. It was funny to watch him stumble through his day and not be an asshole. He wasn't mean on purpose it was more like a ton of little white lies to make his life easier.

Teyla had the same trouble. The Mizkos brewed her mug of special ceremonial tea that made a person unable to lie.

When the tea kicked in there was no stopping her.

No one escaped her tongue-lashing. It was pretty impressive and entertaining to watch.

She accused Weir of making her own people expendable. She accused Sheppard of being a callous asshole.

He was really offended by that. He tried to claim that he was less of an asshole then McKay. She told him that he was worse than McKay was. Sheppard let the people to know how much he loves them. How he would sacrifice himself for every damn one of them, whether they were worthy or not.

McKay on the other hand lets everyone know that he would save their collective stupid asses at a severe cost to his own magnificent brain.

McKay is an asshole but he is always upfront with it. Sheppard hides his assholery. Is that even a word? I wasn't going to interrupt and ask her.

I think she had a valid point. I prefer McKay's no nonsense to the point bitching. To be honest sometimes you have to wade through the bitching to get the point but there is always a point.

It was an afternoon I doubt anyone will ever forget. She just kept getting madder and louder. Finally, Doc Beckett showed up and gave her a shot that dropped her like a bag of rocks. I wonder what else she was going to say.

I think I'm going to see how she's doing. Who knows she may wake up enough to finish telling me everything she knows. Is it wrong that I really like this version of Teyla?

Love,  
Ronon


	8. Hooker a/u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon finds a planet That makes him question how far one should go to get rid of the Wraith.
> 
> ****See notes at the end for possible triggers.****

Dear Melena,

I don't even know where to even start about today. We went off world. I'm not naming the planet. There should be no record of it.

I can't even go talk with Hightmeyer about what I saw.  
I can't tell anyone, they wouldn't believe me if I did.

If I do tell anyone I'm sure, it will be Sheppard. He may have an idea about how to go back and save them. I don't know if they are worth saving.

That sounds shitty I know. Hear me out about them and I bet you'll agree.

I've spent time on Wraith worshiper planets. They still freak me out.

This was worse than anything I'd ever run across.

They had a Wraith in a cage. I'm all for locking the bastards up. This cage was filled with a thick mattress and more pillows than anyone could ever need. There were bowls of fruit and pitchers of something covering the counter that ran across the interior of the walls. They'd hung gauzy, silky fabrics in deeper rich purples all over the walls. It almost looked like a twisted version of a romantic getaway.

It had women lying across the bed with it. I could see one attempting to feed him something from a bowl. Another one was writhing on his feeding hand. I thought I was going to be sick. Everyone stopped and watched the outline of the woman when it was obvious she was about to have an orgasm. The bastard drained her right after she was done. It just rolled her off the bed and another woman took her place.

The elder explained that the Wraith was storing the women's essence and would feed it all back to the last woman in there today.

She in turn would bed a mighty warrior from across the waters and together they could breed the first wave of human Wraith hybrids.

The worst part was these that the women thought they were going to save their race. Also they thought I was that warrior. They were going to take me into its cage and pay me to fuck a woman it will have drained and then brought back to life.

There is no amount of treasure that could make my dick happy with that plan.

I'm going to go take the longest hottest shower of my life.

Love,

Ronon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the women consent to having sex with a Wraith. They also know that there is a good chance they will die.


	9. Fork in the Road A/U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson are transferred to Atlantis.

Dear Melena,

Things have been crazy here. It turns out there are more enemies then just the Wraith that want to sabotage this base. I also found out that they have more enemies where they come from. Some of them make the Wraith sound downright friendly. I'm not sure I buy that either. I don't see McKay or Sheppard trying to scare me away from their home world. Why would they do that?

I asked McKay what the hell he was talking about. He said the Wraith only eat you. I'm not sure what's worse than that. What's worse than death? Personally, I hope to die of old age. Not the premature kind that comes from a feeding session. I want a long life full of memories.

 

I hate to admit it, but I don't know enough about where I live.

I'm still kind of fuzzy on what happened on this base after it was first built. I know I should know more about it. I live here now and it is important to know what happened. The other thing to remember is how many planets are filled with people who think the Ancients are real gods. That they are the ones that gave us life. That they still hold our lives in their hands.

I'm not sure what to think about that. 

The pressing news for now is about the personnel shake up.

We lost one of our own. Doctor Elizabeth Weir is no longer in charge of our base. 

I know I haven't always been her biggest supporter. I was always smart enough to know not to question her authority in public.

I still can't understand why their government would put a civilian in charge. I would want someone with a better military background.

We have one now, Colonel Jack O'Neill. I am told he is career military.

I'm surprised that they didn't give the job to, Sheppard. He has the experience and everyone here is loyal to him. I've never seen so many people willing to follow their commander to their death by choice. When you first meet him, he just doesn't seem that special. He comes across as your typical lazy slacker.

After a short time here, I began to understand why so many do.

Sheppard says we're lucky to have O'Neill. McKay is thrilled that Daniel Jackson will be coming as well. Jackson is yet another doctor. This place is filled with them. I've never seen so many in one place.

 

McKay is weirdly happy about it. Sheppard looks like someone is going to take him out back to readjust his attitude at any moment. I swear I saw McKay doing this weird little shimmy dance around his lab. He keeps singing about the soft sciences going bye-bye. I don't know who is more amused by his performance me or the other scientist.

Radek wanted to know if I wanted a copy of the performance. I wonder why he would ask me that. McKay was weirdly happy and it looked good on him. I hope this Jackson guy will be able to stand up to him. 

O'Neill and Jackson will be here in the morning.

I wonder if O'Neill is one of those by the book kind of soldiers. If he is, I bet Sheppard will have to get a haircut. I hope I don't have to get one. If it comes down to a choice between living here and my hair, it's no contest. I do have issues with the uniform. There really isn't anything wrong with them. I just don't feel right about wearing one.

Sheppard tried to get me to wear one when I first moved into my room. He said I could get a few pairs of pants and tee's like he wears. He meant well, but I am used to my leathers.

I hate to admit it, but I'm nervous about meeting O'Neill.

What if he figures out that Weir didn't really want me here? What if he kicks me out? I guess I could live with Teyla's people. I don't want to be a farmer. Can you see me happily living on a farm?

If I am stuck there maybe, I can set up a few hunting parties so we will have extra to eat and skins to trade with.

What if O'Neill decides that I need to be kept under lock and key? I hope that doesn't happen. It will kill me to be locked away in a cage.

Either way I will be miserable. I would miss so many things that I can only find on this base.

I think I will try to get some sleep. I hope I can sleep and not spend the night stressed about what could happen.

 

Love,

Ronon


	10. Just for Warmth: Blankets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon and Daniel travel off world.

Dear Melena,

I'm in trouble. I'm not sure, but I think I am. I'm going to be lucky if I am only kicked out off the base.

With my luck, I will be dumped over the sides and the big ugly fishes will eat me. Do they even eat meat? I'm going to have to ask the scientist if they do. That is if I am not dead.

There are worse things than being fed to the big fishes. What if he sends me to a dead planet? Would he send me to a Wraith filled one? I know he's not happy but he wouldn't hold a grudge over something stupid that wasn't my fault. Fuck me!

I need to back up a bit so you can fully appreciate what happened to me.

We were having another staff meeting yesterday morning.

It turns out that O'Neill does have a big soft spot. That soft spot would be Doctor Jackson. Jackson wanted to explore some of the friendlier planets we have explored.

O'Neill and Sheppard both said he needed an escort. It was pretty funny to see Jackson argue that he could handle anything a local muscle could throw at him. That O'Neill had let him explore planets in his own. They argued until I couldn't keep track of their points.

McKay finally had enough and yelled at everyone to shut the hell up and that Jackson just needed a local guide who could double as a goon.

I'm not sure why he thought I would be a perfect goon. To be honest I am still not sure what a goon is. McKay said it was a great plan and the rest of the senior staff agreed.

Sheppard pulled me aside and said I should think of a planet that was as low risk and would keep Daniels interest.

He studies old civilizations to see how they lived and died. How was I supposed to come up with a planet like that off the top of my head? You can throw a rock and hit a culled world. That was the easy part; the hard part was finding one that would interest him.

 

The few that fell due to health reasons were automatically out. I doubted that would've been a wise suggestion. With my luck, the guy would've caught something that had lain dormant for years and brought it back here. The whole base would catch some horrid disease and it would be all my fault.

I remembered the temples on Qiraavok. I was only there once while I was a runner. I have recently learned that I was there during their warmer season. While Jackson and I were there, it was cooler during the day. I actually thought that was a good thing. The cooler air was nicer then the heat that I recalled.

Jackson loved the temples, went on, and on about the people that once lived there. I listened to him at first, but then I hate to admit it but I got bored. He was able to tell me everything about them from the drawings on the walls. He looked like Azzerbil's little sister when she got home from school. I swear he was practically bouncing on his toes.

We were the only living things on the planet. After listening to him tell me in detail about what they ate and how they cooked it, I fell asleep. I wasn't awake to prod him into hurrying or to return to the base. That was mistake number two. I still count the first mistake I made was when I agreed to go with him. Number three was not seeing if they had anything about the planet in their database. That would've helped everyone out. Mostly it would've helped me out. I would've known that if I was stupid enough to go, I needed to be back before the sun set.

The worst mistake I made was not bringing enough supplies with us. When the temperature dropped, the only thing I could think about was not letting this guy freeze to death.

I didn't think O'Neill would like me bringing him back frozen.

What else could I do but wrap myself and my jacket around the guy as we slept. Body heat is a great way to keep from freezing to death. My jacket has kept me warm on some of the coldest planets I've ever been on. It was a tight fit for both us but we made it work.

What am I going to do? How do I convince O'Neill that nothing happened?

I can't hide in my room forever. At some point, I'm going to have to man up and walk out the door.

I may see you soon if O'Neill doesn’t kills me.

Love,

Ronon


	11. Wild Card?- Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon and Jack clear the air.

Dear Melena,

I think I am in the clear. I am sure I will live to see tomorrow. Unless the Wraith attack us or one of McKay's minions do something wrong and stupid.

My O'Neill problems are over. He has problems that are more important than me.

I decided to see him but I didn't want to do it in his office. I waited to see him in the mess. I figured that it would be a neutral meeting place.

I think if I were in his military, his office would be intimidating. I hate to admit it but it could be for me as well. He could still kick me out. I would rather not give him an advantage.

My first thought was to meet him at the gym. That could come back to bite me.

I decided to wait for him in the mess. It seemed like the best place. Neither one of us had an unfair advantage. You really can't plot someone's death over pie.

Would you believe he apologized to me? I tell you the military people here still confuse me. I have never heard of that happening to anyone I have served with before.

He said that he's been responsible for Jackson's well being for as long as he has known him.

He told me about the first time he met Jackson.

It turns out Jackson had no experience and his military allowed him to go off world. It was an unknown planet and they allowed it. I keep telling you, they are crazy.

He was the one that figured out how to make the Ancestor's ring work. Did I tell you they call it the Gate? I have mixed feelings about that. There is a small voice in my head that says it's disrespectful to leave the Ancestors name off of it. A much louder voice asks what have they ever done for us.

The point was Jackson figured out how to make it work. They had a whole team of people that devoted years trying to make the ring work. They didn't even know where it would go. It could've lead to instant death. It could've lead to the middle of the enemy camp.

They went and they took a civilian with no experience. O'Neill said he was on a lecture tour when they found him.

It made me wonder about O'Neill. I know Sheppard made McKay take a modified version of their basic training before he would allow him off world. He makes McKay keep up with his training. He said he knows McKay will never be a fit soldier, but he wants to make damn sure he has the best fighting chance he can.

O'Neill said that Jackson could kick ass, I'm doubtful. He did mention that Jackson wasn't happy about how O'Neill had been treating me.

He felt that he should be happy I managed to keep us from freezing to death.

O'Neill finally asked me about my intentions about Jackson. He wanted me to know that he was very sorry that I was going to have a broken heart if I wanted him. It seems O'Neill himself had claimed Jackson years ago.

I don't think he believed me when I told him that I wasn't attracted to Jackson. He seems to think everyone wants to bed Jackson. For all I know everyone else does. I have to admit he just doesn't do it for me.

I tried to tell him that Jackson was a great guy. He's just a little to laid back for me. He didn't have that certain spark I look for in a person.

He was so smug when he winked and said 'yeah spark' as if the comment had a hidden meaning.

I'm just glad he is no longer looking at me as if he wants to rip my head off my shoulders.

I have a busy day tomorrow so I am going to bed.

Love,

Ronon


	12. TGIF: Time Loops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people shouldn't be allowed to leave Earth.

Dear Melena,

For the record, I am on board with killing McKay's underlings. Not all of them, just the ones that get here and think they know everything.

If they can't follow basic directions, they need to keep their ass's home. I bet that is why they were sent here. Someone in charge must've thought it was a better plan to have them fuck our base up than the one on Earth.

What did the morons do you must be asking. They got us stuck in a time dilation field. That's a fancy ass way of saying we were stuck living the same day over and over again to the point where if I see another bowl of stewed bazillied one more time I will punch someone.

O'Neill thought it was funny. He said this time he didn't have to learn the answers to their escape.

I think the man in insane. He is a great C.O. but more than a bit crazy.

All I know is I agree with McKay, someone fucked up and touched something they shouldn't have.

They owe me forty-five days of my life back.

I'm so not happy. I'm going to go down to the lab and see how many people McKay makes cry. If he makes at least three cry I will go and find him some kind of desert. Hell, if he makes five or more cry I will bake it myself.

Love you,

Ronon


	13. The Sam Only Different AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team rushes to save Madison.

Dear Melena,

I know I am later than usual writing this. We had a problem. McKay had a problem and that meant that the team had a problem.

Did I tell you that he has a sister? Jeannie is almost as smart as he is. She married an English professor and they have a daughter.

I'm not sure I understand all of it myself, but the important part is someone threatened McKay's family.

When O'Neill took over our base, they gave the Earth one to Carter. I met Sam while we were there she is nice.

She's been trying to get Jeannie to come work with her. I think she wanted to show our people up. Maybe she and Jack thought a little competition would make them all work a little harder. I really don't know.

I have to say that you can tell Jeannie and McKay are related. She is every bit as driven and stubborn as he is. They both love their family and will take stupid risks when they feel they need to.

Would you believe someone kidnapped her daughter thinking it would make her bend to his will.

They obviously had never met anyone like the McKay's. Jeannie didn't turn into a simpering mess like some of the people we see on the T.V.

She called Colonel Carter who called our General O'Neill and the next thing I knew we were all Earth bound.

I wish we had time to see more of their planet. The important thing was saving the kid. Madison and we did save her. I was impressed that she held herself together so well. I was impressed but not surprised. I know that our McKay works best under pressure.

That was the other thing that kept me from writing. The two McKay's I could just strangle them both. I have seen plenty of stupid things done for love and family in my life, but those two are the worst.

I thought I could tell you about it in a nice and rational way. I don't see that happening.

I think I need to go find someone to spar with.

I already ran the rafters twice.

Third time can't hurt,  
Ronon


	14. Character Focus freestyle (Relative values: Families)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon learns more about John.

Dear Melena,

I owe you an apology. I know I was rather short with you in my last letter. There was something that happened and I don't know what to do about it.

There is an early part to this story. It's actually Sheppard's story but I don't see the problem telling you.

We were off world and everyone but Sheppard made it back to base. It turns out when they first got here the Genii tried to take over our base. Kolya was convinced that they had more of a right to it then Sheppard's people. I'm not sure if he's right about that. What makes one group more deserving than another? Sheppard's people were born on Earth, but Kolya's weren't born on this base either. I asked McKay and he said that it proved that people were stupid no matter where you looked.

As you can imagine there were seriously bad feelings between the groups.

We found out after we came back, that Kolya had captured Sheppard.

Kolya radioed in and showed Weir, Sheppard tied to a chair. She told him that they don't negotiate with terrorists. It was a bunch of pretty words that meant if Kolya broke Sheppard then Kolya could keep him.

Could you imagine that happening on our home world? Me either. Our general's would kick down every door to get a fellow Sateden home. If they could do it with a lump sum of cash and no bloodshed that would work as well.

The worst part was we found out that Kolya had a pet Wraith. We watched as it fed off Sheppard.

It only took a little off him not his life span. It was still sickening to see. What no one counted on was Sheppard making friends with the damn thing. I am not kidding.

He named it Todd. I could never do that. He and Todd made a deal and they helped each other escape. John had to let it go on an unoccupied world as payment for his help.

I admit I was against it. I wanted to kill it on sight. One less Wraith is always a good thing in my book. Sheppard stunned it and then flew to the planet where we were leaving it. He laid the damn thing out and made it look almost cozy.

I think Sheppard's crazy. He said he wouldn't break his word. I say your oath to a Wraith doesn't count. 

I was telling you about the problem I had to deal with while we were on Earth. It turns out this insane rich guy took Madison to force Jeanne and McKay to fix his problem. I have no doubt that they would've been able to at some point. The guy put a time limit on the answer that they couldn't manage.

That was when my McKay realized that Todd would be able to do what they couldn't. Go figure the Wraith have hidden brains after all.

They were given permission for the fucking Wraith to come help them. I don't know who was crazier them or their government.

Honestly, I bet the government people wanted to see a damned Wraith up close and personal. I'll have to ask O'Neill. He does seem to have a better grasp on things than most people in his position. I still think they are nuts.

The McKay's, I think they were just desperate.

Jeanne would understandably do anything to save her child. Who wouldn't try anything to save their life? Madison is so small I would've tried anything as well. 

No one was ready for Todd to make his grand entrance. I know I wasn't. They had him in shackles; I wonder who taught they would stop him from attacking anyone.

Todd convinced them that he was too weak to work efficiently and needed to feed if they wanted him to find Madison. Jeanne and McKay both volunteered to be fed upon.

A couple of the lab techs talking about how surprised they were that McKay, my, our McKay would sacrifice himself for anyone.

They kept saying that maybe there was hope for him after all. No one willing to save a child could be a complete dick. I still don't understand why the people on the Earth base have such an attitude about him. Do you think he could've changed that much since he came out here?

I told Sheppard what they had offered to do. He stepped in and managed to feed the kidnapper to Todd. I heard the guy volunteered. His own kid is sick and what he'd wanted them to do was find a cure.

I'm not ready to play nice with a fucking Wraith. I hate the thought of it killing McKay. We're a team and they are the closest thing I have left to a family. There is no way I could sit by and watch them die.

I hope you understand why I was so upset.

Love,

Ronon


	15. Pre Canon the way we were

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team takes a few days to mend hurt feelings.

Dear Melena,

 

Last week was a bad one. I think we all had too many hurt feelings to get along well. Everyone had a reason to be upset with one another. I had a brilliant plan for us to mend our hurt feelings. I can't really take credit for the idea. They don't know it wasn't my idea.

We spent the weekend on T'lerxxad. I haven't been back since we went there when we were kids. I thought it would be a good place for us to visit. After the stress of our trip to Earth, we were all wound tight. Teyla felt guilty because she was on New Athos when it happened. I think part of her is mad that no one sent word about what was happening. I agree we should've sent word. She should've had a choice to decide if she wanted to come with us or not.

You know things were bad between the team when I was sick of the bickering. 

Do you remember the summer we spent there? I think our whole class was 'exiled' for the summer. It was the hardest thing we'd ever done. I'm still impressed and shocked that we all made it home alive.

I used to wonder what our parents were thinking sending us out there alone with no supplies. It was hard but we all managed. Everyone learned how to hunt and fish as well as field dress anything edible. No one could pass on any job that needed to be done. There were no other options. If you wanted to eat, you had to pitch in.

You have to admit it did bring us all together. Until we lost the fight with the Wraith, we dealt with each other better than our parents ever had with each other did.

I wish McKay's planet had done something like that with their people. Maybe their planet would be less fucked up then it is now.

It's hard to hold a grudge against someone you've seen at their worst. Tell me whenever Dr. Rochmic started giving you a hard time you didn't think about the time he wound up in that puddle of crap at the bottom of the hill. On the other hand, the time he dyed an entire load of wash bright purple. It was funny to watch some of the girls praise him for fixing the dingy whites they were so much prettier.

The team and I didn't go for that long. We spent a weekend and I think we bonded well. Unlike when we were kids, I didn't make anyone do anything they were uncomfortable doing. I did take away all form of technology before we left the jumper.

 

McKay nearly exploded it was so much fun to see. He stomped all over and complained about how we were all going to die. We would die horrible deaths from the local wildlife. The plants that must be poisonous so we shouldn't touch them. The radiation that he couldn't monitor without his laptop. He thought of more ways for us to die then I can even remember. He does have a vivid imagination.

He kind of reminded me of Melly. Remember she was sure we were all going to die as well. Except Melly cried every few minutes and McKay yelled and kicked a few things.

That made me wonder if he was just afraid and hiding his fear with a thick coat of rage.

He is a great guy. He can fix anything and he is really handy to have around. To be honest if I was looking for someone to have my back in a bar fight, he would not be one of my top choices. If I were stuck on some small forgotten moon with no hope of getting back, he is number one for that pick. I have no doubt he would get us home.

Sheppard was surprisingly handy out there. McKay said he was a good boy scout and for some reason Sheppard didn't seem pleased by that. I wonder what it meant. I hate that they still says things that I don't understand.

I wish they came with a manual or something. Maybe a pocket sized travel guide. A dummy's guide to dealing with Earth people.

I meant to tell you I found a lot of the crap we all left behind when we left. There was newer stuff mixed in with it. I wonder if another planet had the same idea ours did.

I found that weird little jar that Isso smuggled in and it made butter just as it did before. It really did make cooking easier and the food taste better. It was easier to cook for just four people then it was for our little mini village. We mostly just fished and sat around talking. It was a lot of fun. It really did remind me of the summer we spent there. We agreed to come back when our schedule allowed it. 

Sheppard made a joke about it being SGA-1's own super secret clubhouse. I'm not sure what the no girls allowed comment meant. Teyla is a girl. I don't understand them.

Maybe I will understand them some day. If I don't, does it really matter?

Love,

Ronon


	16. Sensory Deprivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another planet full of people that don't trust them.

Dear Melena,

I wanted to tell you about my day. I just can't do it. Today's mission was not a good one. It's sad that there are still people who don't trust us. We do a lot of good. We trade food and medicine, McKay, and his minions fix all kinds of broken crap for people who don't appreciate us.

This last batch was the worst yet. They shoved each of us in our own little metal tube. It was tiny I couldn't even move. I could barely breathe. You know how much training I've had over the years. A beating would've been easier to deal with.

 

I am still to jumpy to even try to make sense. Sheppard freaked out. Even Teyla was looking a little green when Lorne and his people came to rescue us.

McKay he was so freaked out he wasn't freaking out. I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense. It really does. I am used to hearing that man bitch about everything you can think of.

The weather is never right, it’s too hot or cold. Some days the wind brings pollen, he just knows it will annoy his allergies. Then he reminds us that if he can't see properly with watery eyes they could all die.

Food, oh how that man loves to rant about food. He rants for the pros and cons on that one. Even the dishes he loves he will find something to bitch about. That we never have it served often enough. That the main ingredient is something no one will trade for. That our own mess can't cook like the grannies on whatever planet we're on at the moment.

I doubt he will ever run out of things to complain about. He does have his favorite subjects to rant about, stupid people, lazy people, small animals, even kids are all met with equal ire on a mission.

Therefore, the fact that he was so quiet scared the life out of me. I really thought that when we opened his little pod he would've choked to death on his own tongue. The only other thing I could think of was that he'd died of fright.

If he had died in one of those little tubes, there would've been hell to pay. One thing I know for sure is that no matter what his bloodline is, this place needs him. I don't think even Sateda's best scientist on their best day could keep up with him on his worst. You know we had one of the best education systems you could find.

I realized that we take too many risks with his safety.

Am I making any sense? I'm not going to get anything done tonight.

I may as well go down to the labs. I might feel better if I can see for myself that he's calmer.

I know I'm being ridiculous but I need to hear him complain about something. Even if that something is me.

I hope you understand,

Ronon


	17. To the highest bidder: Auctions & slavefic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bachelor auction doesn't go as Ronon had hoped.

Dear Melena,

Sorry I was such spazz earlier. I feel better now. I went and saw him in the lab for a bit.

He insulted my intelligence three dozen times. My family's lineage a dozen times. My hair and clothes a handful of times. With each sarcastic comment, I felt a little better.

Does that sound as weird as I think it does?

Speaking of weird, I just heard that Jackson has decided that the base needs something to help us all bond. I don't think that's right. I have spent time with the man and he is unique.

At first, the Non-McKay sciences were going to hold a bachelor auction. I wonder why we never had one of those when we were trying to raise money for all the different causes your friends were always whining that they needed help saving.

To be fair, some I agreed with, but even you have to admit some were crazy.

Remember when Taniss tried to start the movement to save the D'laze. The plants were horrid and needed to be burnt on sight. They weren't native to Sateda. They were poisonous and they dripped that gooey pink sap that burned your skin. It could eat through a regulation field uniform. The worst part was, the damned thing bloomed nearly year round.

So the bachelor auction idea was put out there and some of the people thought it sounded sexist. 

Technically, we are calling it a skills auction. I've heard people commenting that it would be nice to have more people cross-trained.

McKay said no one would be cross training anything in his labs. Unless they want to learn secretary and janitorial skills. All they will be doing is making coffee and mopping the floors. If they were lucky, they might be able to use the file cabinets.

I thought I am a good hunter/tracker, and that is a skill. It's a handy skill to have. Anyone that goes off world could benefit from a good lesson or two in hunting.

Sadly, that's not why he bought me.

McKay bought me. Did I tell you what they came up with for payments? There is no need for the Earth's currency here. Not that they have just one. Every country has their own money. Can you imagine having to swap your money as you move around from place to place? Doc Beckett said that the donation pallets were 'A wee bit skimpy' seriously you should hear the man talk. I still think it's entertaining. He is the nicest person. That is until someone goes against what he feels is best for his patient then you'd better run.

Jackson was elected to be the fair and unbiased judge of all the crap people used to bid value.

Would it sound conceited to tell you there was a bidding frenzy over me? It was nice to really be wanted. I have no idea why some of them wanted me. I know a lot of them can hunt well enough to survive a weekend in the wilderness.

McKay paid a small fortune for me. Food, clothes, and various I.O.U.'s.

Do you know why the bastard bought me? For my skills in the wilderness? For the amazing stories, I could tell him? To teach him about the different planets that I know about, that we haven't visited before? Hell, could've wanted someone to keep him company when his schedule allowed. That would be a giant no to all of those ideas.

You know what he wanted? He wanted my blaster. He thought I would just hand my gun over without a second thought. That I would just say 'Oh sure, please take apart one of the few blasters left in this galaxy.' I know he thought he could replicate them easily and have enough for everyone to have one.

NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! IT'S MY GUN HANDS FUCKING OFF! 

 

I stormed out of the lab and came back here and got together everything I had of any real value. I've been slowly trying to put my life back together since I decided to stay here.

He offered to have dinner with me. I just got O'Neill off my back so I wisely declined. I told him I was far too angry to be good company.

I took the bundle down to Jackson and told him that I couldn't do what McKay bought me for. That there was no way that would ever happen and I want to buy myself back.

I dumped the bundle on his desk and wished him a good day and left.

Stupid gun stealing McKay trying to wreck a perfectly good auction. He will never get his grabby hands on my gun. I think I'm going to go find a marine to spar with me.

Ronon


	18. Historical A/U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon celebrates a bit of Satedan history.

Dear Melena,

I loved when we would celebrate the epic battle of Lizin and Luzun. The Earth people had never heard of the most famous rulers of Sateda.

We talked O'Neill into paying the part of the older brother Luzun. Sheppard played the younger cunning brother Lizin.

Jackson listened to everything I had to tell him. Then he took it upon himself to see what was buried in the Ancients archives. I didn't think they would have anything about Sateda in it. I was wrong. They had details that I never knew.

It was a lot of fun. I hadn't celebrated anything Satedan in years.

By the time, we got to the part where Lizin and Luzun had both fallen to the manipulative bastard Rilence.

Did you really think that Rilence was the worst ruler we had?

He did do many good things. He opened the first major library. He made sure the farmers were paid a fair wage when the crops were bad. Too bad the same couldn't be said for the shopkeepers. His system wasn't perfect but it was a start.

We ate traditional food and I even taught them all the battle songs I could think of. After a few glasses of Radek's moonshine, I even taught Teyla a few of the lullabies your mom and mine used to sing.

It was a lot of fun.

Between the sun, drinks and running around I am dead on my feet.

Love,  
Ronon


	19. Contemporary A/U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon gets a chance to see Earth with Rodney.

Dear Melena,

I am going back to Earth. This time no one is in danger. There is no danger.

The only danger I see is being bored out of my mind. Sheppard seems to think I will be bored.

McKay was invited to some scientist thing. A bunch of them are going to get together and compare ideas and be assholes to each other. I don't understand why that is a good thing. I would want to stay as far away from that as I could. 

McKay was extra bitchy and mopey about going. He finally admitted that he didn't want to go without a date. That everyone would assume he couldn't get one.

He asked the new Doctor Keller to go with him.

She told him that she was just doing her basic rotation to get the extra certification and then she was going back home and never stepping foot off world again.

I told him that I cleaned up pretty good. I do know how to behave at a fancy function. In addition, he owed me for trying to take my gun away from me. Not to mention the threat of taking it apart. McKay wisely agreed and got permission for me to accompany him.

Once I calmed down, I realized that I really had no idea what we were going to Earth for.

The only person that I was sure could help me was Jackson. This time I was smarter, I went and saw O'Neill first. I made a big deal about how he is the highest-ranking officer that I would naturally think of him when I needed serious advice. You should've seen his face when I told him I wanted to know about the science conference. He all but demanded that I go bother Jackson.

I know it was sneaky, but I don't have time to play another round of ‘how dare someone look at my Doctor Jackson’ with O'Neill. I like Jackson well enough but day in and day out, I don't think I could do it. He's just too something. I want to say nice but that's not the right word. He can be an asshole if you push him. Do you remember that weird cake your mom always made for my birthday? I loved that stuff. I ate damn near the whole cake by myself every year. Yet I never asked her to make one until my next birthday. Jackson is like the human version of my cake. Sure, he is fun but I think a steady diet would be a very bad, bad thing.

That's okay O'Neill loves him enough for everyone. I have no clue how those two work and to be honest I don't want to know. As long as they’re happy, that should be all that matters. No one wants to know about their C.O.'s love life. That's almost as bad as catching your parents in bed together. No, just no.

As luck would have it, I had found an extra copy of how to cook greedles one hundred and fifty different ways. I brought it with me and you should've seen him when I handed it over. You would've thought he was five and it was his birthday. He kept running his fingers over it as if it was the most sacred text he'd seen in ages.

I told him it was just an old cookbook. We got them when we took the cooking requirement in school. That was the wrong thing to say. He now wants to know all about our school system.

I promised to tell him about anything he wanted to know once I got back.

That reminds me, I have to go pack. We are leaving first thing in the morning. We're lucky there is an emergency supply drop being sent through the Gate. I think I will bring this with me. I will be there for a few days and I will most likely wish I had it at some point.

Wish me luck,

Ronon


	20. Domestic Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon and Rodney continue to bond.

Dear Melena,

The midway Station is boring! The worst thing is Kavanagh is here. McKay, who I am trying to remember to call Rodney more often, won't let me kill him. He should've at least allowed me to maim him. Maybe just sit in the same room and glare at him.

Rodney said no to all of it.

Oh, he made a request before we left that maybe I could drop the McKay and use his given name. That it made us sound like we were closer. That our relationship wasn't one that the military was forcing on me. I would love to meet the military man that thinks they can pick my friends. Rodney is defiantly one of the better ones I've had. It did make me wonder more about his friends. They must all be assholes if that was the first thing he thought of.

I know I'm going to do everything I can to make sure we have the best weekend ever.

Love,

Ronon


	21. Mistaken Identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon doesn't like the assumptions being made about him.

Dear Melena,

I swear by all that I hold dear the next asshole that asks me what my rates are I am going to punch them in their fucking face.

I don't know what is worse, that they think I am selling my body to him, or that Rodney has to buy companionship.

It's this stupid suit; I knew I should've worn my leathers and my gun. I can still punch them. I really want to punch them.

I will have to settle for making them all jealous when we go to diner.

I did hear there will be dancing later this evening. I never told Rodney about how you and I always placed first whenever we entered a dance contest. I bet I could lift him as easily as I did you. Hell, I may even let him lead if those two-faced fuckers keep making jokes about him being a crappy guy and lover.

I have to hurry, so I can shower and be ready to leave.

Ronon


	22. High School College A/U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon is reminded once more that he is not a people person.

Dear Melena,

If I thought yesterday was bad today was worse. It was like being back in school. There was the popular with the world people, popular within their field circles, the up and coming ones and the least respected the lazy ass wannabe's.

They couldn't figure out where to stick us.

Rodney hasn't published in a while. You wouldn't believe what a big deal publishing is here. I still really don't understand what the big deal is. It was equal parts annoying and creepy.

Do you remember the girls that went to school with the sole purpose of finding a husband? If you exchanged the words husband and baby for publish it would be the same meaning here. They even have the same crazy look in their eyes the girls we used to know had.

It was not fun listening to them talk shit about McKay. Rodney, I mean Rodney. Hell, he runs the science department in another fucking galaxy. He deals with more crazy things than these people will ever dream of.

 

I have to get Rodney to find some shit that he can publish this year. I want to figure out a way that he can publish enough so that he will be the big freaking deal here next year.

I also have to remember to con Jackson into publishing as well. If he comes then O'Neill will as well.

Next year will be the most epic convention ever if I can make it all work out.

I just have to get through this year. I can do it. I promised Rodney I wouldn't punch anyone.

Next year will be different.

Ronon


	23. Harlequin A/U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon and Rodney have a nice night out.

Dear Melena,

 

The last night we were there, we blew off the convention and went out for a good meal. Rodney checked us into a nice hotel so we ate at the restaurant downstairs. We sat at the bar for a while and had a few plates of fried things. I liked the fried cheese and mushrooms. The cauliflower and zucchini were both gross. We sipped really smooth whiskey and just chatted about the weekend we'd spent together. He'd agreed with me about everything I'd observed about the people there. He loved my plan to get Jackson and O'Neill to come with us next year.

It wasn't long before we moved to a table for real food. Rodney ordered steaks as big as our old dinner plates. I have to remember to get a book that has a recipe for blackened steaks. They were the tastiest things I'd had to eat since before I became a runner. I had no idea Earth food could be so delicious.

We split something really rich and chocolatey for dessert.

I am officially moving forward with my life. I had sex with Rodney. It was very good. It's been a while since I was with anyone. I haven't been with a man for more years than I want to think about. You know I never cheated on you. Even when I was away on missions that lasted most of the year. You were it for me. I always thought you and I would grow old together. It would be you and me and our children's, children's children under foot. Maybe not that many generations in our house.

Sadly, I had to admit to myself that it was never going to happen. I know you wouldn't want me to pine for you forever. It sounds romantic but it's lonely. I spent enough time alone when I was a runner. I want to have a life. I want someone to share it with.

You know I will always love you. We have too much history for me to ever forget about you.


	24. Now you're just being silly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronon knows what he wants and how to get it.

Dear Melena,

I have to admit something. No, not that I'm an asshole. You knew that already.

Rodney and I decided not to go back to Atlantis right away.

Jeanne said we had to come and spend time with her family. I don't blame her after what they'd been through. She also had no idea that Rodney and I got together this weekend. She may have had an idea it was going to happen. That's not the same is it?

Rodney has many good qualities, but he can be a stubborn asshole. I may have finally admitted I want him, that doesn't mean I am stupid. I'm not blind to his quirks.

After listening to him argue with Jeanne about family versus science I decided to tell him he needed to rethink his stand on the subject. That he should be more sympathetic to Jeanne's choices now that he is dating an alien. Not to mention the fact that I am younger than he is. I will be able to have children for years to come.

I told Jeanne the truth and swore her to secrecy. She laughed until I thought she was going to puke.

When she finally calmed down, she asked me what I was going to happen if Rodney really does want kids and finds out that I tricked him.

I told her that it wouldn't be a problem. There really aren't that many of us left. I've only run across a handful of people from my home world.

If Rodney really wants his genes passed on, we can work something out.

The more realistic option is that there are many kids back home whose entire family and villages had been culled. If we decided to have, families we will make it happen. In the meantime, it is fun watching him squirm.

I have to admit Mel, I’m happier then I’ve been in a long time. I hope you understand and can find your own peace with the Ancestors.

Until we meet again,  
Ronon


End file.
